Peanut butter

Ever since I've moved out, no scratch that. Ever since college, I realize that time is a precious commodity. I also realized that friendships are like plants. If you don't tend to them, they die. But what happens when you know a lot of people and they all don't hang in the same circles? You can't exactly spend a little bit of time with everyone, because then the time spent won't be quality time. How do you choose who to spend time with when? Then you throw in family - parents, siblings, cousins. What a mess.

I went through a period where people were annoyed at me for ditching them or not spending enough time. This was when I realized relationships are like bread, and each individual the limited peanut butter. Sure you can slather the peanut butter all over the bread, but with the limited quantity, the layer would be thin and the so-called sandwich would be generally unsatisfying. You can lump the peanut butter on certain spots, but the other spots would be neglected. But then you add in time (in the metaphor it would be other slices). What if you focus on certain spots on one slice, then other spots in the other slices. Then when the slices are put together into a sandwich, each bite would have some peanut butter on it.

I know, this metaphor is getting way too out of hand. But throughout life, there will be times when you have to decide who to spend more time with and when. You can only hope that in the bigger picture, you have enough frequency that the person won't feel neglected. But don't think it's not tough. While focusing on one person, you will invariably miss out on another. You can hang out with your friends, but forget your family. You can hang out with your significant other and forget about your friends. The trick is to remember to rotate. They won't mind. If the people you're with are truly your friends/good family members, they will not be too selfish to keep you all to themselves. They have their own peanut butter to spread.